glue stuck to my shoes. does anyone know why you play with an orange rind? you say you packed my things, and divided what was mine. you're off to the mountain top. i say her skinny legs could use sun. but now i'm wishing for my best impression of my best Angie Dickinson, but now i've got to worry 'cause, boy, you still look pretty when you're putting the damage on. from "putting the damage on" by tori

i didn't do what i said i was going to do today. everything's still a fucking go. i haven't done a "confession" today like i said i was going to do. i almost cried when she hugged me and said "bye. i love you." i'm a weak mofo, or maybe i'm too harsh, or maybe my mind and heart are at odds? kristin, i love reading your blogger page. i love you, too! i'm listening to "hey jupiter" now! i've got to put a picture of lisa up. and kristin too. and i haven't posted the one of marcy and me either. is it possible to be a str8 girl hag?? if you're reading this, sign my damned guestbook. again...if you've already done it (me)!!! i feel sick. i want a relationship. (okay, maybe it's [lite] "confession" time?)

Only 3 days to go!!!

jule: yes, let's have a celebrashon about my exit!!!!!!

"professional widow" may have been inspired by Courtney Love??

well, jule did it, so why wouldn't i??? j/k!!! the "redesign" came out of the ideas in my other blog...the other blog where i challenged myself to move some of the stuff that's on the inside and put it on the outside. maybe someday everything will be reconciled???

anyway...the html is as messy as fuck and the "design" is quite elementary, and i apologize for that. if you can't get over it, fuck you!

tuesday's my last day at my current job and i'm thinking that maybe it's a good place to start making some changes. i want to consider some changes on the outside as well as on the inside. independence day is tuesday, so there's another something that can mark the beginning of some personal changes!!! i want a new look. i'm ready just to try shit. i'm thinking of maybe buzzing my hair and dying it. i've just got to try something else.

inside changes.... i know they all aren't going to come at once and i don't expect all this shit to happen at once. just having the goals is a place to start, don't you think??? yeah!! i want to be healthier physically and spiritually and intellectually. i want to try vegetarianism. i was really close once upon a time. and i want to make sure i'm having enough physical activity and i want to maybe try yoga. and i want to read more!!!!!

maybe all this will help the inside and the outside become more alike. it would be okay if i liked it the way it is, but i don't like it that way. no more closets!!!!

i've been reading a lot about tori today, and i found out some neat stuff that i want to share. a lot of people say her lyrics are really obscure and i totally agree. that's maybe why they're so personal to everyone? we can figure out the meaning for ourselves. but today i learned that she pours a lot of very personal material into her songs. there's her miscarriage in "spark": "she's convinced she could hold back a glacier, but she couldn't keep baby alive/doubting if there's a woman in there somewhere." and i didn't know this, but she was raped in 1988, and she wrote about that experience in "me and a gun." you'll just have to hear that song. tori's just great and the world's better because she's in it! =)